Know Your
Bible
VOL. 10 April
24,
2011
NO. 16
Controlling
Behavior
A lot has been said in recent years
about the negative effects of "controlling behavior" in marriage relationships.
According to a recent Associated Press story, "One factor strongly linked to
(domestic) violence is controlling behavior by men. This behavior includes
keeping a woman from seeing friends, restricting a woman's contact with her
family, insisting on knowing where she is at all times, becoming angry if she
speaks with another man, and expecting her to get his permission before seeking
medical care" (AP, 10-9-06).
It is obvious to most rational people
that an abusive husband's efforts to control every aspect of his spouse's life
through intimidation, emotional abuse and violence are just plain wrong. The
Christian understands that such behavior is sinful (see Ephesians 5:25,28; 1
Peter 3:7; Colossians 3:19). If that is what someone is talking about when they
condemn "controlling behavior," I couldn't agree with them more.
But Satan is ever crafty -- always
looking for a way to make evil seem good, and good seem evil. And so, he has
used his vast influence in our culture to broaden the meaning of "controlling
behavior" to include some things that are actually righteous and good. Satan's
workers would have us believe that virtually any real exercise of legitimate
authority constitutes "controlling behavior." So now, if a husband merely
attempts to provide headship in the home, he is accused of being "controlling."
If parents require obedience from their children, they are said to be
"controlling." It has even come to the point where elderships that are
Scripturally shepherding local churches are accused of being "controlling." It
all reminds me of the success that Satan has had re-defining "discrimination".
Do you remember when "discrimination" referred to not treating black folks
fairly? Now it means that you haven't bent over backwards to accommodate
homosexuals and criminals.
As we've mentioned, there are a number
of behaviors condemned as "controlling" by the world that God's word commends!
Consider the following:
1. Parents should control
their children with discipline.
* Proverbs 13:24, "He who
spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him
promptly."
* Proverbs 23:13-14, "Do
not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will
not die. {14} You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from
hell."
* Proverbs 29:15, "The
rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his
mother."
* The Lord condemned Eli
"because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them"
(1 Samuel 3:13).
2. Elders should oversee and
rule local churches.
* 1 Timothy 5:17, "Let
the elders who rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially those who
labor in the word and doctrine."
* 1 Peter 5:2-3,
"Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by
compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly; {3} nor as being
lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock."
3. A husband should be the
head of wife, providing direction to her as Christ does to the church.
* Ephesians 5:23-24, "For
the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is
the Savior of the body. {24} Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."
There is nothing wrong with those who
have legitimate authority exercising it. This is true in the relationships that
we've mentioned, as well as many others such as government-citizen,
teacher-student, and boss-employee. From a Biblical perspective, many of the
problems that we see in these relationships today can be traced back to too
little control, not too much control. Ultimately, a person who disdains being
under the legitimate control of another will also disdain being under the
control of God.
---Steve
Klein
Page 1
Five Ways To Disobey God
The faithful child of God never seeks ways
by which he can disobey God. Yet the Bible indicates different manners in which
God may be disobeyed. It might help us to avoid some pitfalls of apostasy to
reflect on the way in which God is disobeyed.
1. By
Doing What Is Forbidden: -- (Gen. 2:16; 3:6) Adam and Eve, in eating
the forbidden fruit, transgressed or violated the Will of God. We refer to this
kind of sin as a sin of commission. They committed an act which God specifically
had prohibited. Men today often do exactly what He has forbidden.
2. By
Refusing To Do What God Has Commanded: -- (Jas. 4:17; Lk. 7:30; Heb.
10:25). The Pharisees and lawyers in Lk. 7:30 rejected the counsel of God on
baptism. They therefore committed a sin of omission. James states that when one
knows to do good and does it not, to him it is sin. One can do nothing and be
sent to hell for doing nothing, for God has made demands upon us.
3. By
Adding To The Word Of God: -- (Deut. 4:2; Rev. 22:18). God states that
if one adds to His Word, the plagues written in the Word will be added to that
person. John declares that "lawlessness is sin" (1 Jno. 3:4 - ASV).
Sin, as defined by John, is that which is lawless. Sin is the doing of anything
for which there is no law or for which there is no authority.
Men frequently ask, "Where is the Scripture
against it?" But John declares that if there is no law for the act under
question it is "lawlessness", and lawlessness is sin. To act or speak where
Christ has not spoken is a sin of presumption (Num. 15:30; Lev. 10:1,2). When
one acts without divine authority, he presumes to speak in God's behalf. Such is
insolent sin, and is intolerable by God.
John declares that when one goes beyond the
doctrine of Christ, he gives up both Christ and God, (2 Jno. 9). Paul therefore
insists that we must learn "not to go beyond the things which are
written" (1 Cor. 4:6).
4. By
Taking From The Word Of God: -- (Deut. 4:2; Rev. 22:19). To take from
God's Word is a sin of the same sort as to add to His Word. Taking from His Word
will result in one's part being taken from the tree of life and the holy city
written in the Book.
When one begins to talk about God's
"nonessential commands," he is prepared in heart to commit the damning sin of
taking from God's Word.
5. By
Substituting For What God Has Commanded: -- (Gen. 4:4; Lev. 10:1-3).
Cain substituted a vegetable sacrifice for what God had commanded (Heb. 11:4)
and God had no respect for his gift. Nadab and Abihu, though they offered fire,
did not offer the fire that God had commanded, and thus were consumed because of
the strange fire. In religion men must learn to accept no substitute, for God
will not accept a substitute for obedience (1 Sam. 15:22,23).
Realizing wherein we can fail, we need to
use great caution "lest we fall." "If any man speaks, let him speak
as the oracles of God" (1 Pet. 4:11).
---Cecil Willis
Page 2
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