Over and over this statement is made by young children and teenagers across America to their peers, or to family friends who call. "Mother isn't home." Well then, where is she? She is at the office, or the plant, out of town at a sales meeting or to a business conference. Or, she is out with the girls to bowl, or play softball. And why not? Have we not all seen the perfume commercial in which a fashionably dressed young woman comes slinking into the house, swinging her purse on her wrist and singing in a sultry voice "I can bring home the bacon, Fry it up in a pan, And never let you forget you're a man." All this super woman lacks is a cape over her shoulder with a streak of lightning emblazoned on it. But such is the image of the successful, modern woman.

    Now, let's get it straight. Some women never marry and some who do probably should not have done so. They have to support themselves. There are financial crises which arise in families which demand that the wife and mother do something to keep the family afloat. Widows must survive. Wives and mothers with sick or disabled husbands have to do something. What they need is understanding and support--not censure. It will not be easy for them, nor for their children.

    But Paul taught that the older women should teach certain things to the younger women, and instructed Titus, a gospel preacher, to include these things in his preaching. Hear him out: "But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" (Titus 2:1-5).

    "Keepers at home", Paul said. Exactly what does that mean? Let's look at some other translations for help: "workers at home" (New American Standard Version and ASV), "homemakers" (New King James Version), "domestic" (Revised Standard Version), "busy at home" (New International Version). Do you get the picture? Here is the most challenging career which any married women ever considered. It is at once challenging, frustrating, rewarding, fulfilling, exhausting. It provides support for a husband and guidance for children. It demands time, patience and effort. It is the cement which holds family life in place. Not only have the foundations of family life cracked and crumbled, we have very little cement left to hold the bricks together.

    "Mother isn't home." Somebody has convinced her that unless she competes in the job market she will never really find out who she is. She must find self expression and self-fulfillment. She must contribute something of her talents to the world or it will surely deteriorate. And so we educate our daughters to plan for business careers. We must prepare them to escape the mundane, humdrum, boring, unfulfilling, dreary existence of being a "mere" wife and mother and homemaker. Ask a class of junior high or high school girls about their future plans and listen to what they say. How many of them REALLY dream of being good wives and mothers?

    We have all heard the reasons why mother is not at home. She can add greatly to the financial security of the family. They can all have better housing, better clothes, better cars, better trips. What we have not considered is that we shall also have disappointed husbands, neglected children and frustrated women. "It will teach the children to be more independent." Come on! It will leave them alone when they need you. They will learn that you are really too tired or too busy to really listen when they need to tell you of their disappointments or hurts, or their hopes and ambitions. They will find somebody to listen but, after it is too late, you will not always like their choice. You will not have time to talk with them about Jesus and the apostles and the early Christians and how they applied truth to the real situations of daily existence. There will be buttonless shirts, skirts and jeans. There will be unstitched seams and hems. There will be unkept houses and you will become more and more reluctant to have company.

    Showing hospitality to friends and strangers will become a virtual impossibility. You will be too tired, or not have time to "guide the house" (1 Tim. 5:14); or to "bring up children", "lodge strangers", "wash the saints feet", "relieve the afflicted" and "diligently follow every good work" (1 Tim. 5:10). You cannot find time to be "full of good works and almsdeeds" and make "coats and garments" for the poor as did Dorcas (Acts 9:36-41). When will you and your husband ever find time to "expound the way of the Lord more accurately" to an Apollos, or anyone else, as did Aquila and his wife Priscilla (Acts 18:24-26)? How will you be able to "labor in the Lord" as did Tryphena and Tryphosa (Rom. 16:1-2)? The "homemaker" is the foundation of hospitality.

    How can you ever find time to help your husband demonstrate this qualification of an elder? He cannot do it without you. Many of the things just mentioned impact directly or indirectly on soul winning efforts, or the lack of them. Home studies go begging because life is too hectic to bother with them. Home chores which used to be done in the daytime have to be done at night now. Who has the time or inclination to invite folks in for Bible study?

    Several years ago, while living in Atlanta, I had home studies several mornings a week with ladies who gathered in the homes of Christians after the children left for school. That resulted in a number obeying the gospel. But now, husband leaves for work, children go to school and wife? Well, she leaves, too. She must not be bored and she MUST find herself and be fulfilled! It is her duty! She must make a statement and be part of a movement to forever halt injustice and stop chauvinism in its tracks!

    Something is wrong here, folks. We must get back to what the Bible teaches. Families are falling apart for want of it and churches are suffering in the aftershocks. Young people would be well advised to discuss this area fully before marrying and come to a meeting of the minds as to what the Bible teaches and the roles to be filled by each partner. Children must be taught at home, in Bible classes and from the pulpit what Paul told Titus to preach as a part of "sound doctrine."

    Preachers, are you telling older and younger women what Paul said to tell them about being "homemakers"? Would you "catch it" from the women where you preach if you did, or worse yet, from your wife when she gets you home?

    Sisters, if you want a career which will help stabilize the basic unit of all ordered society, make your husband a better man, give your children guidance for life, set a worthy example for yourchildren, grandchildren and neighbors, develop leadership qualities in your husband which will help the church and provide a better climate in which to enhance the work of soul winning, then I strongly recommend to you the challenge of being a good wife and mother who is "discreet, chaste" and a "keeper at home."

(From Searching the Scriptures, Editorial, Volume 28, Number 3, March 1987.)