Regrets Of A Lost Childhood
[The following story is a fictional representation of a man who
has reached a mature age in life and is reflecting upon how his parents failed
to impress upon him a love for the Lord and his own efforts with his
family.]
Reaching the age of fifty-five has brought
about reflection on life and the impact of decisions I have made in company with
decisions made by my parents when I was a child. My children have grown and left
home and my wife and I are enjoying a different time in life; one of pause and
introspection. It has also become a time of spiritual awakening that I have
looked deeper into my relationship with God and my early awareness of the
church.
My parents became Christians a few years before
I was born. They went to worship services most Sunday mornings and occasionally
mom would take us on a Wednesday night with Bible class. While mom and dad were
Christians we never made the church a large part of our life. We enjoyed the
people there and liked the preacher but mom and dad never made a large part of
their life the things that involved the church.
Bible class was nice but as we grew older the
less time we would go to Bible class. The elders would encourage everyone to be
a part of the Bible class time. Mom and dad never really found it that
interesting. As I look back on my childhood I wonder what kind of person I could
have been in my life if I would have had the influence of godly teachers who
loved the Lord and sought to share the Bible stories with their students. I have
struggled with many challenges in my life and tried to answer each one with my
own wisdom. The children who went to Bible class learned about how God's people
struggled and how they overcame. I regret not having that kind of background to
help me.
Mom and dad are passed now. I would wish to ask
them why they seldom took us to Bible class. I understand that everything we
need to know about the Bible cannot come from the few hours we spend together in
the Bible class but I would really have enjoyed spending time as a child
learning about the word of God. Seeing the beginning of all things through
the eyes of Moses in the book of Genesis would have helped me know who I am, why
I am here and where I am going. The struggles of the people of God in Israel,
would have given me courage to overcome the temptations in school.
I remember on a rare Sunday morning we went to
Bible class and the elders had divided the classes up to teach the young men and
the young women important lessons for youth. What they were studying was what I
was having a hard time with in life but we did not go back to Bible class and I
missed out. Maybe my sister would have had an easier life if she would have been
in Bible class and learned about purity, faith and love. I know that I would
have learned more about being a man and not made as many mistakes in
life.
As we grew older we never went to Bible class
and mom and dad would begin to go less and less to worship services. We drifted
away from the church services and when I graduated high school I seldom darkened
the doors of the Lords church. College came along and I enjoyed all the
pleasures of the world found in college. Church was never on my agenda. Mom and
dad never really had time and neither did I.
I married a college sweetheart and we were
blessed with three children. My wife and I gave no thought to worship and as our
children grew they never knew what Bible class or worship was all about. We
struggled in our lives with the problems that face all couples and tried to
solve them with Dr. Phil and Oprah and this counselor and that counselor and to
little avail. Our children are doing well in the world but have no interest in
spiritual things.
It was the heart attack last year that brought
my life back to those early days. Life took on a deeper meaning and my mind
turned to the sanctity of life and its meaning. Strangely those childhood
memories of Bible stories and songs began to haunt my memory. I soon regretted
not having the influence of those Bible memories that so many others had shared.
Why had mom and dad not seen the value in spending time with people of God and
to help me learn about the stories of Gideon and Barak and Samson and
Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: who through faith subdued
kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of
lions (Hebrews 11:32-33).
We were always too busy to attend on a
Wednesday night and never went to a gospel meeting. There were a lot of things
the elders tried to encourage us to be a part of but it just did not interest
mom and dad. Interest - that is the word that escapes me. It means a sense
of concern with and curiosity about. Truth of it is mom and dad did not have a
sense of concern for the Lord and His teachings. We saw that in their lives and
so we had no interest in the Lord either. How often I have looked back on life
and seen where an interest in the Lord would have helped me.
Is that why my children have no interest in the
Bible today? Is that why I find my life empty because of the lack of knowledge
about the One who made me? I cannot blame my parents for all of my decisions but
I can lay at their feet the charge they failed me when I was a child. They had
so many opportunities to take me to Bible class and worship and be involved in
what the church was doing but they were not interested. How different my life
would be today if they had.
Sadly this carried over into my marriage and my
own children. How do I begin to turn the heart of my wife to a book I turned my
back on? What can I say to my own children who grew up with less interest in the
Bible than I was exposed too growing up? In so many ways I am the product of how
my parents viewed the efforts of the church in teaching and preaching the
gospel. Their lack of interest instilled in me a lack of interest.
Is it possible to say that if my parents would
have taken me to Bible class and worship and been involved in the work of the
church my life would have turned out perfect. No, I know many who are faithful
to the cause of Christ and have tried their best to work diligently in the work
of the church and yet faced troubles. But they seem to have a greater
understanding and greater faith about overcoming those challenges. I wish I had
that. I regret not having that foundation in my childhood. It would have made a
difference in my life if my parents had seen the importance of the cause of
Christ. I regret my lost childhood in not knowing the Lord.
My birthday is tomorrow. Another candle will be
added to the already burdened cake. All of the children will be home for dads
special day. We will sing happy songs, laugh and I will enjoy opening the
special gifts from my children and grandchildren. The cake will be cut and the
punch will flow and a good time will be enjoyed by all. In a quiet corner I will
sit and look upon my family with a smile and a tear will streak across my face
for the memories of a few rare times in childhood when I remember those precious
times in church. I will regret the loss of those important lessons in life. I
will regret the loss of those important lessons being given to my own
children.
Time slips quietly by in life and we think we
will live forever. The tide rolls in and we awaken to the dawn of tomorrow where
yesterday can never be regained. Hard lessons of life are learned in lost
childhoods. Parents are busy about many things and spend the childhood days
filled with today and now and the need and the present and urgent and the must
have and the rapid pace of life rushes by and then we wake up - and life is
gone.
If I had a voice to share with you as a parent
I would implore you to see the worth of your child's life and the need to spend
time now with the people of God and with the study of the word of God. The wise
man said to Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, before the
difficult days come, and the years draw near when you say, 'I have no pleasure
in them' (Ecclesiastes 12:1). Your children need to know about the Creator
now. There are difficult days coming and they need to be prepared. You must show
them the way and if you fail to show them the way they will be lost in the
entanglements of life. The interest your children have in Jesus Christ will
largely be determined by YOUR interest in Jesus Christ.
There is no better time than now. My childhood
days are gone and the days for my own children are passed. But you still have
time to share the wonderful news of the Bible with your children. Be involved
with the efforts of the church and take an interest in the things the elders are
trying to help you with. Bring your children to Bible class. Bring your children
to every worship service. Bring your family to the Lord and you will reap
wonderful blessings. Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap....He who
sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow
weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose
heart (Galatians 6:7-9).
You can make a difference in the life of your
child beginning today. Make a commitment to put the Lord in your life in a
positive way by the example you show of fidelity to the church. This will not
guarantee that challenges will not be a part of your life but you will be
prepared to face those challenges and so will your children. If you love your
children you will love them enough to give them the greatest gift of all - God.
He loves you and desires to teach your children of His love. He proved that by
His own Son. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life
(John 3:16).
Do not live to regret the childhood lost in your own children. Take every opportunity to give them something that will never die. Give them the knowledge of eternal life. Let them see the beauty of Gods grace and the love of His rich mercy. Begin today with a commitment that you will make every effort to let your children see God in you. Show them your love for God by involving your family in the work of the church. Will you save their childhood?
---Kent Heaton
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